From Living for the World to Living for Christ | A Share Your Story Blog

The summer of 2017 feels like forever ago, but it also feels like yesterday. It’s crazy looking back and seeing all the pieces that had to line up and fall together to bring me to the one place that would end up changing the trajectory of my life.  

Growing up, my family attended church every Sunday, I went to Christian school, I was involved in youth ministry, and I had a lot of head knowledge about Jesus and the Christian faith. I prayed, and I don’t recall a time in my life when I didn’t believe in the existence of God. I just didn’t know how to live for Him – or why I should live for Him. I’m sure I was taught by loving parents and caring teachers, but for some reason, it never fully “clicked.”  

After graduating from my Lutheran high school, a close friend of our family recommended Woodside Bible Church to my parents; after years of attending the same Lutheran church, we began attending Woodside. I remember liking it when I was there, but my attendance throughout my college years was sporadic until my senior year, which brought us to the spring of 2017.  

A requirement to obtain my bachelor’s degree in communication was to complete an internship applicable to my major. Well, I’ve always been a procrastinator. For whatever reason I thrive in the chaos of getting things done at the last minute. And the funny thing is, I ended up at WLI because of my procrastination. 

So here I am, in one of my communication classes, writing with a Woodside pen that I probably picked up from my mom in our kitchen. A fellow classmate noticed it and asked if I attended Woodside. Long story short, he ended up telling me that not only was he a member of Woodside but that they had recently begun offering internships. Now, at this time in the semester, I had been panicking, trying to find an internship position that was not already filled. Let me tell you, the outcome was not looking good. So, when I heard that, I was intrigued to find out more. Truthfully, I was thinking two things: 1. I was desperate for an available internship for graduation, and 2. Is this one at church? Perfect, it’ll probably be easy peasy.  

I applied, not sure of what I’d be doing or where I would land, being a communication major applying for a church internship, but like I said – I was desperate. I ended up being accepted. Then, I saw the word ‘ministry leader’ in the description and started panicking. I called my mom stating why I couldn’t go through with the internship. But, as my mom always does, she lovingly convinced me to talk to the person who accepted my application and give it a shot.  

So, I got a phone call from the program director at the time. He was very kind and welcoming. I explained to him that I was just looking for an internship for college graduation, and I didn’t want to end up in ministry or work at a church, so maybe this wasn’t for me. He assured me that not everyone who would be a part of the program was going to end up in ministry and that they still had a place for me. That was relieving. So, I went for it.  

In this period of my life, I was very much living for the world. Living for me. Idolizing cultural norms. And here I am thinking I’m just going to be shadowing someone in my line of work – it was so much more than that. Every Thursday morning, we had these weekly intensives, diving deep into theology, apologetics, ministry, and leadership skills. So, it’s safe to say I felt out of place at first. Although, no one inherently made me feel that way – which is why I stayed.  

This was the first time I experienced a real, authentic Christian community, discussion, and discipleship. It was so different than any of the years of Christian education I had experienced prior. Especially the theology and apologetics courses – up until that point, I had never heard this kind of approach to learning about Jesus and the Bible. It was so incredibly eye-opening to me. For the first time, I felt like I was starting to understand. The puzzle pieces of creation, the Gospel, and life itself fell into place for me.  

For most of my life, I struggled with anxiety, and it’s something I still struggle with. It wasn’t until high school and college that I began struggling with depression. I constantly felt misunderstood and weighed down by the world around me. Life felt hopeless and almost pointless at times. I felt discouraged by all the sadness and darkness I encountered in real life and through news and social media. Life felt hard. During my time in the internship, as everything began to make sense, I slowly felt the weight of depression and sadness lifting from my life.  

Simultaneously, I began experiencing, for the first time ever, true conviction. Not guilt or regret. But true, Holy Spirit conviction. But I didn’t realize that’s what it was. Week by week, I started feeling different about the things I was engaging in. I began to feel like I was living a double life. When I was in the intensives, I truly enjoyed it. I learned so much and loved every minute of it. But I would leave and engage in my usual routine of living for the world. 

It wasn’t until one of the Campus Pastors gave us a lesson on prayer. They spoke with vulnerability and authenticity directly to where I was at. I was deeply moved by his passion for Jesus and his passion for prayer.  

The Lord was already working on my heart a ton prior to this intensive. Yet, this was the lesson He would use to break through to me. I left feeling a plethora of emotions, but mostly deep conviction. With the words he taught us that morning, I broke down in my car in the pouring rain and called out to God in a way I never have before. I prayed loudly, using Scripture, just as Pastor Lorenzo did. I was vulnerable and apologetic. For the first time in my life, I was truly repentant. I remember praying that day the verse that I claim as my life verse – I asked God to remove my heart of stone and to give me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). And that’s exactly what He did.  

When I pulled into my driveway, I had a sense of peace wash over me that I can’t put into words. I knew that God heard me and that He was going to be with me every step moving forward. I knew it was going to be okay. I felt His presence and was sure of it. God had me on a journey in the summer of 2017, a journey of confession, repentance, unlearning, relearning, and establishing an intimate relationship with Him. It was painful yet healing, and I am forever grateful for His grace, mercy, and goodness to me through all of it.  

I completed my internship and graduated college, but I graduated a different person than I was when I started, all glory to God. Though my internship was over, I wanted to continue, so I became a resident with WLI and completed that at the end of 2018. Now, I am the Social Media Coordinator on the Communications team at Woodside, and I truly could not be happier or love my job more. I am forever thankful for the Leadership Institute and the Lord’s mercy in my life.