If God is Good…Then Why Haven’t My Prayers Been Answered?

My mom passed away almost two years ago. She was in her sixties, just recovering from back surgery, and there was no definitive reason as to why she died. A few months after her funeral, my dad said to me: “I prayed every day asking God to keep my family safe. How could this have happened? Did He even hear my prayers?”

God’s Word promises that when we pray in accordance with the will of the Father, that He does hear us (1 John 5:14). Even more, it says that when we abide in Him and He abides in us, whatever we ask for will be done for us (John 15:7). But if these things are true, then why does it seem that so many good prayers go unanswered?

Surely my dad’s prayer for our family wasn’t contrary to the will of the Father. And what about my friends who wrestle with chronic illnesses, infertility, or the salvation of those they love? I know plenty of people who’ve prayed desperately for help in these areas (and others) for years without any relief. Does their lack of answer indicate that God doesn’t really care about us after all?

In short, no, it doesn’t. The Bible tells us about the unfailing character of God throughout the many generations of story and history written in Scripture. If you’ve ever walked closely with the Lord, you’ll have seen evidence of His love, goodness, righteousness, wisdom, and truthfulness as you’ve grown in your relationship with Him. If we need any further indication that He loves us fiercely and incomparably, we simply need to look at the cross. If God would willingly send His Son to die a torturous death so that we can freely walk with Him, redeemed of our sin, then there’s no denying that He treasures us far more than we could ever understand.

And that’s just it — we won’t ever be able to fully comprehend why God does what He does. In his writings on the attributes of God, theologian Wayne Grudem explains it this way:

“Because God is infinite and we are finite or limited, we can never fully understand [Him….Psalm 145:3 says, ‘Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.’ God’s greatness is beyond searching out or discovering: it is too great ever to be fully known….Paul implies this incomprehensibility of God when he says that ‘the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God,’ and then goes on to say that ‘no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God’ (1 Cor. 2:10-11)….It is not only true that we can never fully understand God; it is also true that we can never fully understand any single thing about God.”[1]

Grudem isn’t saying that we’ll never be able to understand anything about God, just that we won’t be able to understand everything about Him. This is where faith comes in. We may not be able to comprehend why God allows things to happen the way that they do, but we can choose to trust in His character, even when we don’t get the answers we hope for.

We see Jesus model this type of faith and surrender in the Garden of Gethsemane, just hours before his crucifixion:

“And he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.’ And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’” – Mark 14:34-36

Knowing the agony that lay ahead, the Son of God appealed to the mercy of His Father. Did Jesus’ prayer go unanswered because He still went to the cross? On the contrary — in the Gospel of Luke, we see that God sent an angel to strengthen Him in His despair (Luke 22:43). God heard the petitions of His only Son, but it was His will that you and I be atoned for, and this was the only way. Ultimately, we see that Jesus surrendered to the good and perfect will of His Father, even if it meant that He would suffer.

It doesn’t make sense to me that my mom left us when she did. In fact, no painful human experience will ever completely make sense to me, nor should it — because sin, evil, and suffering are contrary to God’s design for us (Genesis 1-3). However, while we live on this imperfect side of eternity, we have the opportunity to model Christ and trust God’s purpose in our pain. Regardless of how our prayers are answered, we can hold fast to the truth that God loves us indescribably and He is working all things together for our good (John 3:16, Romans 8:28).

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9

Written by Sierra Okoniewski, Staff Writer
Published by Woodside Bible Church, www.woodsidebible.org

Further Reading:

Blog Post: Unanswered Prayers Are Invitations from God by Jon Bloom
Blog Post: There Are No Unanswered Prayers by Courtney Reissig
Book: Bible Doctrine | Essential Teachings of the Christian Faith by Wayne Grudem

References:

[1] Grudem, W. A. (2022). Bible Doctrine, Second Edition. Zondervan Academic. http://books.google.ie/books?id=0-lFEAAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=Bible+Doctrine+second+edition&hl=&cd=1&source=gbs_api